My “Not” Bucket List

Nowadays it seems like so many people are creating a Bucket List, a list of things they want to do before they die, or before they turn a certain age.  I never gave much thought to creating one.  They seem to me like they would put a lot of undue pressure on you to achieve so many far reaching and sometimes expensive endeavors.  But I do know that there are some activities that I have no interest or intention of ever doing, despite the fact that these things are popular on other people’s lists.  So here are the top 10 things that I would never have on my Bucket List, if I had one.

1) First of all, I will not be jumping out of a plane. It doesn’t matter where the plane is flying, how high it is, or who is flying it.  It doesn’t even matter if you put Brad Pitt or George Clooney in the plane, I would still have absolutely no desire to scare the living crap out of myself and do something that is so incredibly insane.  Jump out of a plane?  Really?  Why?

2) Secondly, I will not be swimming with sharks.  I like to swim and I love the ocean.  I don’t particularly like when fish are sharing the ocean with me however, and I would be less inclined to like it if the fish were large and dangerous and had sharp teeth.  Even if I had on protective gear, this would not be an activity I would enjoy.

3) Speaking of animals, I will not be attending any bullfights.  The closest I got to this was touring a bullring in Spain.  That was all fine and good, because no animals were present.  Watching animals gore each other, or worse, goring people, is not my idea of entertainment.  I am an animal lover and this would make me ill to watch, not give me a thrill.

4) Even if I was in shape, I would not like to climb Mt. Everest or any of the other high summits of the world. I read Into Thin Air and got the inside scoop on what the climbers really endure and how far they will go to reach the summit.  I am grateful that I don’t have that urge.  Besides, I hate the cold. 

5) I would want to bungee jump off a bridge as much as I would want to cut off my fingers one at a time.   This ‘thrill’ may be right up there with skydiving for some, but for me the thought of your body bouncing up and down like a yo-yo is nauseating.  Granted I do have a fear of bridges, so voluntarily falling off one would not be on my list of things to do.

6) Some people, including my husband, would travel to the moon if they had the money.  This interests me 0%.   Spacesuits, weightlessness, peeing in a bag, eating dried food, and worrying where your oxygen is coming from are not things that excite me.  I like this planet just fine, most of the time, and prefer to stay here.

7) Riding the largest roller coaster in the world, or the largest Ferris wheel for that matter, is another no-no.  I am not fond of paying good money and waiting in line for hours to get the crap scared out of me.  I think I made that point earlier in this list.  And yes, Ferris wheels are scary because of their height, not their speed.  With my luck, our ‘car’ would be stopped at the top and I would be with people who thought it was cool to rock the car.  No thanks.

8) Being elected to a political office would not be for me either.  I leave that stress to those better equipped to hold their tongue when listening to irrational people or requests.  I try to avoid discussing politics whenever possible because I like my friends, regardless of their political affiliations.  Therefore, I would not like to alienate half of them by taking office, which would mean being “Republican” or “Democrat” all the time.

9) I don’t feel the need to milk a cow either.  Farmers are having a hard time keeping their jobs nowadays, so why tread on their territory?  I like pouring my milk from a container just fine.

10) Finally, I don’t need to run away and join the circus for a day.  I have lived through the years where my life was a circus and luckily things turned out well.  I prefer to give the jugglers, fortune-tellers, and clowns a break and not ask them to put up with me for a day.

I would love to hear from you if you have a Bucket List and how that is going.  How do you approach fulfilling the things on it?  If you do not have or want one, why not create a Not Bucket List like I did?