As adults, hopefully we have learned to be careful what we say. If we threaten consequences, we need to follow through. If we teach something, we need to be sure it is right. If we promise something, we need to keep our promise.
Years ago, when one of our boys was in elementary school, he was not the strongest writer. I was worried that he would enter middle school lacking in strong writing skills. So we came up with a plan. He agreed I could tutor him three times a week the summer before 6th grade if he could invite three friends to join him. That translated to free tutoring all summer long for three lucky boys. In addition, on Fridays, I would take them all somewhere fun, like bowling, swimming, or to mini golf. If not, we would go to pizza or ice cream. So not only was I not getting paid, but this was arrangement would cost me money. But in the end, it sounded like a fun plan for all involved.
Our Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning arrangement was going along swimmingly. I even set up a keyboarding station where one boy would learn keyboarding while I worked with the other three. One day, after the other boys left, I complimented my son on how well he was progressing. We talked about our state’s standardized tests and how they score the writing prompt portion. The scores range from 2-12, with a score of 8 being the goal. I told him I would be so happy if he reached goal. The year before he received a grade of ‘Unscorable’. Generally that means the scorer can’t read the student’s handwriting, or the student didn’t really answer the prompt question.
So my son, always the finagler, asked me what I would give him if he reached goal and scored an 8. I told him he could have a sleepover with 3 friends. He raised his eyes in delight, and then asked what if he got a 9. I chuckled, knowing he was pushing his luck, but said we would go out to pizza before the sleepover. Well, now he was on a roll. What about a 10? Well, no way that was happening, so I said we would add mini-golf to the outing. Now he was acting like he was on a sugar high. Eleven? A trip to Six Flags. Twelve? I paused, daydreaming about that non-existent possibility of going from ‘Unscorable’ to 12 in one year and said, “If you score a 12, we will go to Disney World!” That sure got him to work hard all summer.
But, reality set back in, we finished our summer tutoring, and my son entered middle school. October rolled around and the CMT tests were administered. He said he thought he did ok, but scores don’t come back for months. When the springtime came, our district language arts administrator came to see me. The scores had just come in and she asked me what I did to prepare my son for the test. I deflated, thinking she must think I am a terrible mother that I prepare my students but not my own son. I started to answer but then she showed me his score. Not only did he score a 12 on the writing prompt, but he also scored a perfect 400 (out of 400 points) on the total writing portion of the test. I had never seen a perfect writing score before and only occasionally see them now from year to year. I was absolutely flabbergasted. My pride in his accomplishments was clouded by the fact that I was now going to have to plan a family vacation to Florida in the summer!
I fleetingly let the thought cross my mind that I wouldn’t tell him his true score, but that didn’t last more than one second. He worked hard and earned it. He needed to know that hard work pays off. I needed to learn that promises made without thinking things through was requiring me to pay. The moral of the story is to be careful what you promise… because the seemingly impossible can happen. The other moral of the story is to never sell your children short…they are capable of great things. I learned my lessons.
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| Disclaimer: This is not an actual picture of my son. He does indeed have a nose. |
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