Pet Interview

Did you ever wonder what your cat and dog do all day long when you are not home?  On days when we are at work, they are generally alone for over seven hours.  I know I am really busy during that time but what exactly do the pets do?  I asked a professional to interview my pets to find out the scoop.

Q - So, what do you do once everyone has gone for the day?

Dog – Well, first I stare at the door for about 15 seconds, hoping they forgot something else and are coming back in.  Then I can ask for another cookie.

Cat –I just mind my own business; stay on the couch with a grave look on my face.  Some people call it a dirty look, but it is not necessarily. 

Q – When you realize that everyone is truly gone, then what?

Dog – I start by doing a sweep of the kitchen, looking for anything that has fallen on the floor while breakfast was being made.  Next, I check if the cupboard door was left open.  It’s always good when it is.   Then I can paw my way through the cookie box and get some more treats.  Really, they only give me 3 little cookies, like that is supposed to be satisfying!  Heck, I weigh 50 pounds; I’m not some little toy poodle.

Cat – Well, I watch the dog to see if she has scored at the cupboard.  If so, I join in.  By the way, dogs eat; I dine.

Q – Are you saying you are not well fed?

Dog – No, I am sure they are giving us what the doctors say to, but what about some splurges?  Heaven knows they have them…

Cat – I usually get what I want.  If not, I start to eat their plants again, and then they are sure to give me more food the next day. 

Dog – Yeah, that doesn’t work for me.  I like meat.

Q – So what occupies most of your time, sleep?

Dog – Yes and no.  The cat and I wrestle a few times during the day.  He usually wins but that is because he is older.  It doesn’t really matter that I weigh 50 pounds and he weighs 14.  He is still a big cat so I give in to him.

Cat – Yeah, you are a sissy.

Q- Where is your favorite place to sleep?

Cat – I like to change my locations.  It’s part of my strategy to keep everyone wondering where I am, but I do like the bed.

Dog – My favorite spot by far is the leather couch.  I have my favorite section on it too, but the cat likes to try to get it sometimes, just to get me mad I think.

Q - Do you get bored sleeping so much?

Dog – Heck no!  That’s what we do best.  When I was little I liked to run around outside, but now that catching the Frisbee thing can get real old.  I do it once to amuse everyone, then that is enough already.  Sleeping is good.

Cat – Bored of sleeping?  I don’t understand what you mean?  Bored of sleeping?  Huh?

Q – If someone rings the doorbell, do you answer?

Dog – If by answer you mean bark my head off for 3 minutes, then yes.  But no one ever comes in.  I don’t know why.  I let them know we are home and want to go out…

Cat – I just watch the dog go wild, then I go back to sleep.

Q – Anything else you do during the day that you would like to add?

Cat – I like lying by the window watching the birds and the squirrels.  Sometimes I jump up on things I know I am not supposed to and I end up knocking something down.  I always try to make it look like the dog did it. 

Dog – I dream of food and taking long walks in the woods. 

Cat – Yeah, you are a sissy mama’s girl.