My Two Cents: The Thank You

When was the last time you wrote a thank you letter? I mean the kind where you handwrite your thoughts, address an envelope and bring it to the post office for a snail mail experience? Granted, there are other ways to thank someone for a gift, a gesture, a party, or even just for being a friend. Let’s take a look in to the ‘world of thanks’.

First of all, there is a verbal thank you. This generally happens right on the spot. You open a gift and say thanks. You leave a party expressing a huge thank you to the host. You verbally thank people all the time during the day, many times instinctively. Maybe someone held the door open for you or complimented you. A verbal thank you is nice, appreciated, appropriate, and easy to give. It is the basis for good manners and shows good character.

Taking the thank you up a notch would be texting/tweeting/Facebooking/emailing a thank you to someone. This takes a little more time and thought, and like the verbal thank you, it costs you nothing. Unlike the verbal thank you, there is physical evidence of the thank you taking place, not that you really need this though. You can re-read it if you like, and can be deleted, but it is there. It is possible the thank you could be made publicly too, as with Facebook.

A phone call can also follow a verbal thank you. Going the extra step of making a call allows you to reflect more on the gift, event, or gesture while reiterating your gratitude. Let’s face it, we are all busy and finding time to make a call is not always easy, which is why texting has become so popular. But taking the time to make the call and investing in a few minutes of talk time to thank someone is an appreciated gesture that goes a long way.

Topping off the thank you effort, in my opinion, is thank you correspondence. This takes the most thought, time, and expense. You have to buy a thank you card, or have some sort of stationery on hand. You have to put your handwritten thoughts down on paper, which for some people is difficult. You have to know or look up the person’s mailing address, and also have stamps on hand to mail it. If not, it also requires a trip to the post office. None of these are difficult or really very costly, especially if you are prepared with the materials or if you are willing to make the effort. When a thank you card appears in someone’s mailbox, it is a special surprise, surrounded by the umpteenth VISA application and catalogue you did not request. The card can be read over again, saved, and treasured.

Those of us who were brought up writing thank yous are more apt to be still writing them. We have trained our children to write them and nag them until they do. We may be a little critical of those who do not acknowledge a gift with some sort of thank you. For us, it is good manners. Heck, my mother still mails me thank yous for gifts I give her; even though she also gave the verbal thanks (several times) and the phone call thanks.

We often host parties and always get plenty of verbal and even follow up email thanks. But we have also been pleasantly surprised when receive occasional thank you cards in the mail afterwards. It actually gives us something to pause for while sifting through the mail, delaying opening the bills. I keep the cards, which provide nice smiles and memories each time I re-read them. The thoughtful act is much appreciated.

As a teacher, I often get gifts from students. You bet your bottom dollar that each and every child gets a handwritten thank you from me. Not only do I want to thank them for thinking of me, I also want to model good etiquette.

In the end, nice gestures need to be recognized, but the written thank you seems to be disappearing. I say let’s all rally to keep it alive.