Delicate Arch

One of the most spectacular natural arches I have experienced is Delicate Arch.  Located in Arches National Park in Utah, it is one of the most photographed natural wonders of the world.  Utah even sports it on its license plate.  To get up close and personal to it, you have to hike a three-mile loop over a rocky surface.  I hiked it alone … here’s why.

The year was 1989, the month September.  We were about one week into our cross-country journey, moving from Los Angeles to New York.  We had our first son with us, at the ripe old age of 17 months.  As we planned the 24-day journey, we tried to find a nice location where we would be on the day of our 4^th wedding anniversary.  Arches National Park ended up being that place. 

We entered the park and were greeted by the impressive Three Sisters formation. Further in we arrived just in time to secure the last open camping site.  After setting up the tent, the three of us took a two-mile hike to Landscape Arch.  We stopped along the way at Tunnel Arch to enjoy a picnic lunch.  

The majestic Three Sisters formation greets visitors at the entrance of Arches National Park.

All we needed for our picnic was a spot of shade.

Our campsite was private, serene, and spectacular!

Later that afternoon, we wanted to hike to the famous Delicate Arch, but knew the little guy wouldn’t be able to do another long hike, especially a longer one with slick rock surfaces.  So we opted for shifts.

My husband hiked first.  When he returned, I turned child duty over to him and set off on the three-mile journey.  Although it started on a wide dirt path, a slick rock surface came next with a 500-foot gain in elevation. This part of the trail was adequately marked with cairns, which are small piles of stone formations used as markers.  All I had to do was keep looking for the next pile to be sure I was following the right path.  Since it was now later in the day, my estimated time of return would be right around dinnertime.  I would hate to go astray and be lost in a desert abyss of rocks and arches, beautiful as they were.

No one else seemed to be hiking towards the arch at the same time I was, so I seemed to be on my own.  There were a few cairns that were confusing, but before long I seemed to be nearing the top.  This is where the rock path surface narrowed to a width of about three feet, complete with a sheer, steep drop off.  I had to stay focused on the trail and not the golden sunlight amplifying the desert and canyon views. 

All the waiting and walking paid off as I turned a corner and finally embarked upon the most magnificent sight, which remained hidden until the end.  It is hard to explain just how majestic the arch really was.  It loomed about 60 feet up toward the clouds.  I just stood and stared, taking it all in for the first few minutes. 

To my comfort, there were other people at the arch, mingling around its base or sitting and reveling in the peacefulness of the moment.  Some, like me, were also trying to capture a photographic memory.  The sun was fairly low in the sky, bringing the vivid red rock color to life.  Unfortunately, scanning our slides to digital images lost a lot of the fiery red color.

Other visitors relaxing under the arch, being careful not to roll off one side or the other.

I was careful as I walked around the base of the arch, from end to end, because next to the arch was a natural bowl-shaped rock amphitheater formation, delving perhaps a few hundred feet down. Picture a sculptor creating a deep, round clay bowl.  Now widen the top, keep the rim lines, and paint it red.  If I fell or rolled in, I am not sure how I would manage my way of the slippery rock surface.  This made for delicate walking around the top rim area, no pun intended. 

Looking into the 'bowl'.

This was such a peaceful and beautiful experience that I wanted to stay there for a much longer time than I did.  However, since I didn’t want to hike back alone in the dark merely hoping to spot the cairns, I set back after about an hour.  I arrived to our campsite happy and in time to enjoy our macaroni anniversary dinner around the campfire.  This was a very special anniversary indeed.  

Although Chris had the earlier shift while the sun was higher in the sky,
he stopped the aperture down to F22 to create this starburst effect.

Our tent at night taken with a long exposure, making the stars look like shooting stars.

Finding Yogi

Back in 2004 when our school district had a mid-March winter break, our family did something unusual, at least for us.  We split up.  My husband went north to ski with our older son while I went south to Spring Training in Florida with our younger, baseball-loving 13-year old son.  It was a success from everyone’s point of view.  

We stayed at the Radisson Bay Harbor Hotel in Tampa, which is where many of the Yankee players who don’t have their own homes down there stay.  Plus, many of the old-timers who come to spring training stay there.  We had a row of bright white baseballs in boxes waiting to be signed.  Like everyone else, we were hoping for some big names too.

In addition to a day at Busch Gardens and a day trip to Sanibel Island, we went to a total of four baseball games during the week. Two of them were at Legends Field in Tampa, and the away games were in Clearwater and St. Petersburg.  Yankee autographs were difficult to come by, but the other teams were more generous with the ink.

Legends Field, Tampa, Florida

Yankee John Flaherty, one of the more generous players, signing for Kevin

Back at our hotel was really the time to be scouting around for autographs though.  Whether we were at the pool, the restaurant, or in the hotel lobby, there were many people coming and going.   We were always on the lookout with new balls and a felt tip in hand.  We knew that many of the old-timers, including Yogi Berra, were staying at the hotel.  Although we hoped for good luck and good timing, the week went by without running into Yogi.  

On our last day, we were in the hotel gift shop killing time after breakfast.  I decided to go up to our room to do the last bit of packing.  Our son said he would be up in a few minutes.   Five minutes later he was frantically beating at our door.  “Mom, I think Yogi is in the gift shop!”  he struggled to get out.

I grabbed a new ball and a felt tip pen and I think I locked our door behind us.  By the time we got back to the gift shop, as you might guess, no one was there.  We walked out to the lobby and must have had that ‘I just missed Yogi’ look on our face.  A nice man asked us if we were looking for Yogi Berra.  He told us he just went down the hall into the restaurant.  Ah! There was still hope.

Lest you think we would stalk him while he was eating his scrambled eggs, my quickly formed plan was to go upstairs and get the luggage, while our son remained vigilant in the lobby waiting for Yogi to finish his breakfast. 

After 45 minutes, it was clear that we were going to miss the chance.  We had to leave for the airport to make our flight.  I went out to the parking lot and pulled the rental car up front.  When I came back in the lobby, I saw our son talking to Yogi and signing a ball!  I could barely act quickly enough.  I pulled out my Nikon and asked if I could take a photo of the two of them together.  He said yes and posed.  After I took the photo, his wife Carmen, went up to him, brushed his arm, and told him to take another one and to smile this time.  Needless to say, in the second shot, he was smiling.  The question is whether he was smiling because she reminded him to smile, or whether he was smiling because she was ‘bossing’ him around.  Either way, we got the shot of a lifetime.

Shot #2

We couldn’t believe our luck.  We spent a whole week in the hotel, going to games, and scouting the perimeter.  Then in the last 60 seconds of our stay at the hotel, we get the autograph and a photo.  As Yogi says, ‘The game isn’t over until it’s over.’

Sunset near Tampa, Florida

Pick your battles

I am sure that all of you would like to make the world a better place.  If it were up to you, everyone would listen to your opinions, beliefs, and wishes.  After all, even though your opinion is your opinion, you obviously feel it is the right one or you would change it.  However, unless you want to be in a state of conflict your entire life, you have to learn to pick and choose your battles.

Let’s run through a fictitious but possible day.  You start off with a pit stop to your favorite coffee watering hole on the way to work.  Someone ‘steals’ the parking spot you were waiting for.  You want to get out of your car and yell at them that you were waiting for that spot.  You want to secretly key their car after they enter the coffee store.  But you do neither.  You enter the café, in line after them, and let it go.  Of course your mind races through what you want to do, but you take the high road.  This is not the battle you choose to start your day.

Back in your car, you proceed to work.  You are stopped at a traffic light and the guy in the car behind you keeps honking his horn.  You check the light but see it is still red.  You are in a straight OR right turn lane.  You happen to be going straight, so you can’t proceed.  It’s obvious Mr. Impatient is turning right.  You want to get out of your car, walk back, and educate him, but it is not worth the effort because the light will turn green while you are arguing with him.  So you move on.

Yes, these are little scenarios, but ones that you consciously or unconsciously choose to let go.  What about some slightly bigger ones?  Let’s say you don’t agree with something your boss says or does.  Okay, let me rephrase that; you don’t agree with many things your boss says or does.  But if you value your job, you can’t choose all of them to call him on, even though you know you are right.  You need to pick the one that most impacts your life at work, act on that one, and let the rest go.  After all, that’s what co-workers and lunch breaks are for, to release your frustrations to others who understand.

What about family life?  As partners in a relationship, roommates, children, or parents, you could probably spend the better part of your day battling or correcting others.  You want justice to prevail in situations where someone has been wronged. In my opinion, our need to battle others is the strongest when we are protecting our children or loved ones.

I was fortunate enough to learn this lesson early in my parenting life.  I refer to this as the Yo-Yo Story.  Our younger son had a fancy new yo-yo he brought to school when he was in 3^rd grade.  He was in early for school for some reason or another; I really don’t remember that part.  But the kids had to wait in the front hallway before school began.  When he got home from school that day he was upset that an older boy took his yo-yo to try out, and when the bell rang for school to start, the yo-yo was not returned to him. 

 Clearly upset, I reacted.  The next morning, I went in to talk to the principal.  I relayed the yo-yo injustice play-by-play.  New yo-yo, his indoor recess toy gone, older boy, no right to steal it…  She listened politely, and then quietly told me I needed to start to pick and choose my battles.  Those were not her exact words, but she basically told me I needed to back off even though I thought it was unfair that my son lost his new yo-yo by an older boy.  I couldn’t keep up with every injustice an 8 year-old experiences.  Life was not fair and I needed to let the smaller things go.

I knew I was a protective Mama Bear, but I guess I didn’t realize how much so until a professional fellow educator whom I respected, had the guts to give it to me straight.  I am sure it was not easy for her, given that I am a teacher as well as a parent.  But she said what needed to be said, and it was a break through for me.  

(Just an aside…today that would be labeled as ‘bullying’ and the boy would be found and reprimanded…ok, now I will let it go!)

I used her advice as life went on.  Raising two sons provided such joy but it also had its teachable moments.  I referred back to the principal’s advice and made conscious decisions which battles to choose.  Length of hair?  No.  Time of day they did their homework?  No.  Snide remarks made in a heated state?  Hard one, but usually no.  When it came to the important stuff, the boys knew it was important and they would be held to task, even with their ifs, ands, and buts.

During parent teacher conferences, I often share the suggestion for parents to pick and choose their battles.  Perhaps it doesn’t really matter if they don’t read 30 minutes at night anymore if they are getting an A in English.  Maybe it is ok that they do their homework with music playing if they always have it done completely, correctly, and on time.  I agree that their handwriting is atrocious, but if I can read it, then let me be the bad guy who tells them to re-write it.  Parents can battle all day long, but that is not a formula for a good relationship with their child.

So as you go about your day today, why not make a mental note of the battles that you pick and the ones you let go.  Are you picking too many?  Not enough?  The right ones?  Only you can say.  But conflict brings stress and anxiety and we can all use less of that.  Report back if you have any revelations.

Customer Service

We all have our share of horrific stories about awful customer service.  Hours on hold, incompetent employees on the other end of the conversation, and getting disconnected only to have to start all over again are just a few of what we have all probably experienced at some point or another.  Allow me to offer a recent experience with a large food chain that ended up being anything but horrific.

While shopping in Stop and Shop over a month ago, I noticed the store was out of the brand of coffee k-cups I generally buy.  The following week they were also out and I also noticed the shelf space that generally housed them was no longer there. I went on to the Stop and Shop website to investigate.   For those who are wondering… yes, I did have extra time on my hands.

First I tried to search for the coffee by name.  ‘Sorry, no matches were found’ came up.  I realized that meant they were no longer carrying the item, but sent in a question anyway.  Stop and Shop has 355 stores in the Northeast.  I knew I would not get a response back, but because I was annoyed they discontinued my coffee, I felt they should know.  After all, isn’t customer satisfaction what stores are supposed to care about? 

Imagine my surprise when I received a response.  Not only was it a response; it was a response from the manager at the local store where I shop.  (It did ask me to identify which store I shop at during my email to them.)  Here was his response:

           

            Hello Linda, my name is (I deleted the name) and I am the store mgr at the Lake Ave Stop and Shop. I received your email regarding the Grove Square coffee. I'm sorry to tell you that the item has been discontinued from the warehouse. I did locate six packages for you if you would like to have them. If you would like to pick them up please let me know. Thanks for being a Stop and Shop customer.

            (First name)

Well blow me down!  Not only did I get a personal response from a person with a name, but he also somehow dug up six more boxes for me!  I responded back how pleased I was and that I would definitely like the coffee but would not likely be back there until next week.

            No problem Linda.. When you come in ask for the manager at the service desk. The coffee is in a bag in my office with your name on it.

Thanks.  (First name)

Awesome.  Now I didn’t have to make a special trip to pick them up.  When I did my weekly shopping the following week, I went to the service desk and tried to explain to the employee on duty what I needed her to retrieve for me in the manager’s office.  I saw this might take a few minutes, so I told her I would shop for my produce and return in a few minutes.

A different employee was now behind the service desk with a brown paper bag, about the size of what would contain six boxes of coffee.  He was on the phone, so I waited patiently even though I just wanted to take the bag, put it in my cart, and continue on to the checkout line.  But being the proper person I am, of course I just waited and smiled. 

After the phone was returned to its cradle, the employee began to scan the first box of coffee.  I asked if I had to pay separately here or if I could just take the coffee and pay for it with the rest of my order.  When he told me there was no charge for the coffee, I naturally assumed he thought I pre-paid for it.  When I told him I had not, he said that the coffee was to be given to me for free which was why he had to do the transaction there.  I was truly speechless.  If you know me, that doesn’t happen often.  I must have thanked him three times, but of course I was going to follow up with another email to my new manager friend at Stop and Shop.

I have been a Stop and Shop customer for 23 years.  Although I am reminded from time to time that Shop Rite is cheaper, albeit further from my house, the convenience of Stop and Shop wins out.  It is nice to know that when you are a loyal customer, that sometimes you are rewarded in little ways.  It is those little gestures that go a long way.