Does the Half Count?

Many of us hope to live a full rich life.  Perhaps we even have a number in mind, like reaching 80, 90, or even 100 years of age.  When you get up that high, it is important to count the half-year too, just like when you are single-digit young.  My great-Aunt Mary lived to be 108 ½ and we always include the half.  Were there secrets to her longevity?  I am not sure, but I can share some facets of her life and we can decide together.

Aunt Mary was born in Italy in 1887, the oldest of six children.  As a child, she used to suck on crystals of hard rock salt instead of candy.  This led to a lifelong love of salt.  She graduated from the Art and Needlework Academy at the age of 19.  As a graduation gift, her father let her sail to America with him as part of a business venture he was taking part in. 

Working for an Italian wine maker, his task was to bring casks of the best Italian red and white vintage wines to introduce to the American market.  In addition, he was to see how the wine fared on the 15-day trip across the ocean.  Although the wine traveled well, Americans had gotten used to beer and the venture failed. The trip was only supposed to last three months but they ended up staying and buying an embroidery business from their uncle’s friend.  

Aunt Mary was a very talented embroiderer.  She brought clothes to life using pearls, rhinestones, beads, sequins, spangles, and gems. Most of Aunt Mary’s designs came from her imagination, but other times they were created after research in the New York library and museums, where she looked for inspiration. 

The business with her father was successful and after three years they sent for the rest of the family to join them in America.   Two of her older sisters, Betty and Lee, helped out with the family business.  One memorable time was when Aunt Mary designed the embellishments on a satin gown for Florence Harding.  Mrs. Harding wanted something very special to wear to her husband Warren’s inaugural ball as the 29^th president of the United States.  This gown with Aunt Mary’s work is currently part of the First Ladies exhibit at the Smithsonian in Washington, DC.

When the crash of 1929 hit, they, along with millions of others, lost everything.  For the next 13 years, Aunt Mary held various jobs, including one as a fashion consultant at de Jaquids, a high fashion house in Manhattan.  She met many wealthy people who shopped there and made clothes for the wives of Astor, Hearst, and Vanderbilt.  Although she came in contact with wealthy, famous people, this never changed who she was and what her beliefs were.

Aunt Mary was destined to have her own embroidery business though.  In 1942 she opened Marie Novelties with her sister Betty.   Her embroidery was in high demand.  She did work for Dior, Saks, Bergdorff Goodman, and Casella.  She enjoyed the freedom that came with owning her own business. 

Aunt Mary was a very compassionate woman with a good business sense.  She often hired older women, many well into their seventies, allowing them to do most of their stitching at home.  This spared them the cost of commuting, making their wages go a little further.  She hired Hungarian and Russian women to work on smocking, Italians to do beadwork, and Spanish women to do appliqué.  She was proud of the good wages she paid to women.

Lo and behold, another first lady's inaugural gown dons Aunt Mary’s embroidery work.  Anna Eleanor Roosevelt bought a satin gown at Bergdorf Goodman, then wanted some beadwork added to the neckline and sleeves.  This gown was worn to her husband’s third inaugural ball in January 1941 and is also part of the Smithsonian collection. 

First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt, wearing the gown that Aunt Mary embroidered for her.

I have fond memories of her life in the family house in the Bronx, where she lived with her other siblings.  These memories are described in another blog entry: A House in the Bronx.  Aunt Mary used to love showing us her work and trying to impart her knowledge to us.  We would go into her basement and become mesmerized with the boxes and bins of sequins and beads.  We were in 'Little Girl Heaven'.  

Aunt Mary taught me to crochet when I was six.  It never dawned on her that her great niece could not pick up the fine coordination skill needed.  I still love to crochet and I am grateful for the memories I have of her teaching me on the front porch of that house in the Bronx.  

We jokingly say that one reason Aunt Mary lived so long is that she never got married.  She had more than one proposal though.  One of her suitors told her he would take care of her and she would never have to work another day in her life.  That was a grave mistake and it was the end of him.  A very independent woman, she reflected afterward that God didn’t want her to be married. She believed her destiny was to work and to help others through her work.  She did, however, bring up her niece and nephew when her sister Laura and Laura’s husband died six months apart, while both were only in their forties.  She worked hard to give them a good life and send them to college.  She was always busy helping others, whether she was making a wedding gown for a niece or crocheting dolls for the senior citizens.  

My mother's wedding gown, which Aunt Marie made and embroidered.  She made all the gowns and special dresses for all her nieces and sisters.

Aunt Mary, with red bow in her hat, made most of the dresses in this photo for my parents' wedding.

Aunt Mary moved from the Bronx to Yorktown Heights, when she was in her eighties.  She had an apartment built as an extension a niece's home.  She attended every family party and holiday and enjoyed each festivity with gusto.  She sat around the table after the meal and participated in the wonderful discussions, not missing a beat.  Afterward, she would retreat to the couch for a nap. Never wanting to miss anything, she was one of the last ones to leave the party. 

It is pretty remarkable that Aunt Mary did not need to be on any medications throughout her life.  Her health was always remarkable, despite the fact that she generously salted her food throughout her life.  She used to say that salt was good for the blood; sugar was good for the brain.  She enjoyed a little swig of vermouth at night too.  Her only ailment was cataracts later in life, around the age of 95.  It was her only surgery.

As her eyesight declined, Aunt Mary would ask my mother to write letters for her.  As she dictated letters to be sent to the presidents, my mother would chuckle to herself.  Aunt Mary knew her current events and thought she had the answer to all the problems.  She enjoyed telling the presidents how to fix the country.  Aunt Mary remained lucid until the end of her life.

So, Aunt Mary’s longevity could be attributed to her lifestyle, her personality, her genes, her attitude, her generous nature, or the fact that she never got married and enjoyed her vermouth at night.  Her strength and independence made an impression on all the members of our family, boys and girls alike.  Not only did I have the honor to call her my great aunt and enjoy her for many years of my life, but both our sons also have memories of their great-great aunt.  She was truly a woman before her time...and she lived to be 108 ½. 

Aunt Mary (right) at one of her great-niece's weddings.  She made her dress.