A Little Help From Our Friends

There was a story in the news not too long ago about a pod of dolphins in Brazil that got thrown off course and started swimming towards the beach.  As they began to get stuck on the sand in shallow water, the people who were on the beach waded in and gave them some help, pulling them back out to the deeper water, one by one, until they were all ok.  It was a wonderful feel good story with a happy ending.  It made me think how we can all use a little help from time to time.

Like the dolphins, it doesn’t take much to throw us off.  At some point or another, we can lose sight of what is really important.  Sometimes it takes a tragedy to make us step back and realize what really matters. Other times our real goals get pushed off course and before we know it, we are so far off that, like the dolphins, we need help to get back on track.

For students, it may be bad choices in behaviors or friends that steer them off course.  It could be a bad grade, a break-up, or a subtle rejection.  For adults it could be a job that is bringing them further from their goals or it could also be choices in people that they surround themselves with that mix them up and move them away from who they really are or who they want to be.

Surrounding ourselves with people who are positive influences in our lives help keep us on course.  When we get mixed up or thrown off, they are there to help us get back on track.  When a big event comes along, whether positive or negative, they are there for us too, offering support, encouragement, and help.  They celebrate with us and also mourn with us.

As I have been readying myself for total knee replacement surgery, I have been blessed with friends, peers, and family who have kept me on track so I didn’t get myself filled with too much anxiety.  For all of them, I am truly grateful.  My next blog may be delayed since I will be ‘out of commission’ for a little while, but something tells me I will have some good material to write about when I return.  Until then, get a little help from your friends when you need it.  That’s what friends are for.

Picture courtesy of clients.ingenious-web.com.

An Afternoon in Prison

Spending an afternoon in a prison was quite an experience. Back in’93, I was working a part-time job for a company that had a woman’s softball team. I always wanted to play on a softball team but never ventured out past gymnastics or running. Now that I had an opportunity to join a team and see how good I was, I grabbed it.

Our company team practiced a few times before the games started. Somehow I ended up playing first base. I had a really good stretch, but I didn’t like when the woman playing third base careened the ball to me. I was playing with some pretty hardcore players. I really enjoyed batting too; those underhanded pitches didn’t scare me like baseball pitches did, so I was able to get some nice hits.

When we got our season schedule, I recognized other company names which was kind of fun to see. There was one company I didn’t recognize though. For some reason we had games scheduled against the Danbury Federal Correctional Facility.   Really?  The women's prison?  I thought it was a joke when I saw that on our schedule. We were going to play the prison guards? But I was in for a rude awakening…it wasn’t the guards we were playing, but the prisoners themselves. Apparently they had a team and needed other teams to play against, so ‘someone’ put them in the league with us.

To say that a few of us were apprehensive to play against prisoners was an understatement. But if none of us showed up, we would forfeit the game, and no one wanted that to happen. So, on that fateful day back in ‘93, we all showed up in the parking lot of the prison. Obviously no friends or supporters were allowed to come cheer us on. We were told not to bring anything inside except our mitt and equipment. We couldn’t even bring our own water bottles. For obvious reasons, no jewelry was allowed inside either. So a bunch of us were taking off our wedding rings and hiding them in our glove compartments.

After doing the necessary check-in at the front desk area, we entered what seemed to be a very large elevator. When the door shut, the door on the opposite side immediately opened. It was not an elevator at all; it was a transfer area protected by the double doors, where only one could be open at a time. My uneasiness grew.

As we walked across the expansive lawn to the field, we passed other prisoners who were outside doing whatever. When we arrived at the softball field, I almost died. Before us loomed about a dozen gigantic women. No greetings, no smiles, no sharing of the infield for warm-ups. Just a bunch of really loud women who must have worked out every day to be in the shape they were in for their sport, their outlet. We were simply the ones they were going to let it out on.

We went to bat the first inning and were quickly out 1-2-3. When we took the field, I took my spot on first base. Then it began. Hit after hit after hit. And I am talking BIG hits. The woman charging down the line towards first base could have cared less that a scrawny little white girl was trying to cover first base. As a matter of fact, one of them ran right into me, even though I was not on the base; I was well to the right of it. She was looking for me to retaliate, but I just ignored her. I was a bit intimidated and a little shocked. All I kept thinking was “I have a 3 and 6 year old at home… I have a 3 and 6 year old at home…” When we scored our only run, the other team was so mad, it was frightening.

After some very long innings, we were finally able to call it a game and leave. We were defeated 20-1. We couldn’t wait to get out and back to our cars. Although there was still another game against the prison team that season, it didn’t much matter. I was done. Forfeit or not, once was enough for me.

Flying: A Story of Confidence and Admiration

While I was living in Los Angeles, my parents and I each flew to the other coast to visit each other once a year.  On their annual trip west in 1985, they looked forward to getting to know my fiancée, Chris, better.  One of the activities we planned for them was to take a trip to Palm Springs to visit their friends who had moved there a few years earlier.  Although the trip was only about a two-hour drive, we decided to fly because Chris was a pilot.

They greeted the offer with enthusiasm.  They had never flown in a small airplane before.  We were able to leave when we wanted, not when a timetable demanded.  We got to bring what we wanted and did not have to go through any screening.  We planned the day trip for a Saturday when we were off from work.  The plan was to fly from Van Nuys Airport to Palm Springs.  Their friends were excited about our visit and awaited our arrival.

We arrived at the airport and relaxed in the lounge while Chris did all his pre-flight requirements.  My parents soaked in the experience that I was growing accustomed to.  After taking photos with the Piper Archer and the pilot, we climbed and entered the plane.  If you have never been in a 4-seater airplane, entering requires stepping onto the wing, and crouching down to enter the back seats.  Then you have to push back the front passenger seat, much like entering a 2-door car.  The pilot and co-pilot enter last, in that order.  My parents took the back seat, while I flew up front as the co-pilot, a job I was beginning to enjoy.

After more pre-flight checking of instruments, we were finally cleared for take-off.  One big difference with flying in a small plane is how loud the noises are compared to large jets that many of us are accustomed to flying in.  Up we rose and after circling around, we were on our way east to Palm Springs.  One thing that Chris always tells his passengers is to always look for other airplanes in the sky.  This is not because he is not looking, but because extra eyes are always a good thing, whether you are ‘back seat driving’ in a car or plane.  Occasionally we would say ‘plane at 10:00’ or ‘plane at 2:00’ and inevitably he would already know about it, but we were just doing our back-seat jobs. 

One of the amazing sights when flying to Palm Springs is going through the Banning Pass.  Interstate 10 was constructed between two large mountains and the air path to Palm Springs pretty much followed above I-10 through that mountain pass.  We all enjoyed flying ‘through’ the mountains and seeing their beauty up close.

Upon landing, the Voorhis family was there to greet us.  They, too, were captivated with the small plan experience.  We enjoyed a visit with our old neighbors from Yorktown, where I grew up. We relaxed in the dry desert air, enjoyed the town, and had a nice meal together.   We stretched the day out as long as we could, then after dark, decided to head back.

Flying at night is a different experience.  Although I was more accustomed now to the small plane experience, my parents were not.  As we approached that same Banning Pass on the way back, we entered a hazy area of reduced visibility.  We could no longer see the two mountains which would shortly be on either side of us.  After a minute, I could feel the tension radiating forward from the back seat.  My father slowly leaned forward and whispered loud enough for only me to hear, ‘He does know what he is doing, right?’  I nodded with great confidence, although it was still a little scary for me too.

Chris had his commercial and instrument ratings.  An instrument rating means you can fly using instruments only and do not need any visual sight outside the window.  A commercial rating means you can be paid to fly people, like the pilots of major airlines.  The instrument rating is what was important that night.

We landed safely and without incident at VanNuys Airport just under an hour after leaving Palm Springs.  Although they didn’t say it, I know that Chris’ approval rating soared to the top of the charts that day.  Yes, he would indeed be a good husband.

A view of Banning Pass with the two mountains we flew between.  Interstate 10 runs through the pass too.

Here I am with Chris and my mom, handing him things to load, before we loaded ourselves.

My dad, always the ham with photos.

Drive-in Movie Theatres

I used to love going to the drive-in movie theatre when I was growing up.  I have such fond memories of those big nights out with my family, watching movies on a screen larger than life.  Although movies portray drive-ins more for couples dating, that was not my experience with them.  Let’s take a peek back to the late 1950s and early 1960s when drive-in movie theatres were at their peak.

With over 4,000 drive-in theatres in the U.S. in 1958, I should start with why the outdoor screens were so popular.  First of all, they were a bargain for families.  For a relatively low price, adults would see two full length feature films without the expense of a babysitter.  Parents would load pajama-clad kids into the car, along with extra folding chairs and blankets, and arrive early for a good parking spot.   Everyone would jockey for their seat positions in the car, with older kids sometimes sitting outside the car in folding chairs or lying on the car roof.  They would stay out there until the mosquitoes or chilly night air got to them.

Many drive-ins also included playgrounds for the kids to enjoy before the movies. Getting out excess energy was good thinking.   If kids were bored with a movie, they could also retreat back to the playground. 

One of the most popular parts of the evening was going to the concession stand.  During the intermission, employees were quite efficient at quickly serving up hamburgers, hot dogs, drinks, ice cream, candy, and popcorn.  Since most of the revenue was made on the food sales, it was advertised really well.  There was generally a clock counting down the time until the second movie started.  “ONLY 5 MORE MINUTES TO GET YOUR POPCORN”… “THREE MINUTES UNTIL SHOWTIME – HURRY AND GET YOUR ICE CREAM”… you get the idea.  It was an exciting count down for the start of the second movie.  

If you went to drive-ins growing up during their popularity, perhaps you have one your family went to frequently.  For me, it was one both the Hollowbrook Drive-in on Oregon Road in Cortlandt, NY and the Mahopac Drive-in in Mahopac.   We would arrive early and seek out a good spot near the concession stand and playground.  We would run around and socialize a bit on the playground, then jockey for our positions in the car.  I liked to sit outside with a blanket until I couldn’t take the chilly night air any longer.  Then I would reenter the car and find a nook to nestle in to finish watching the movie.  My other favorite spot was the roof of the car, which provided the best view.  Sometimes we bought snacks at the concession stand, to supplement what my mother packed for us.  Either way, watching the clock count down the minutes you had to buy your snack was entertaining.

In my opinion, the second movie was generally not as interesting as the first.  As my memory recalls it, the first movie was geared more for children while the second one was more for adults.  A few minutes into the second movie, the kids were either tired or bored or both and were soon fast asleep in the back seat.  Either that or you would see a stream of cars leaving after the second movie started, generally those loaded with children.  If you came late and missed part or all of the first movie, they generally ran it again after the second film.

Experts cite three main reasons for the decline of drive-ins in general.  First and foremost was the introduction of Daylight Savings Time, which pushed darkness and the start time of movies too late for many families.  Second, cable TV, VCRs, and indoor multiplex theatres were too much competition.   Third, many drive-in owners thought they would be better off financially if they sold their land to commercial developers.  To show this point, the Hollowbrook closed in 1984 and there is a residential housing development where the big screen once towered tall at the Hollowbrook.  The Mahopac closed in 1976 and that land now houses Key Foods Marketplace, CVS, and a K-Mart.

According to www.drive-ins.com, there are only 367 drive-ins open today.   Some people feel they are making a bit of a comeback with the new generation’s discovery of them.  Although I have not been to a drive-in in many years, I would guess that the quality of the sound has greatly improved along with the quality of the movie itself.  If you are looking for a different experience for a movie, find a drive-in and give it a try.  

Click here for a classic example of an intermission film from a drive-in. 

Here is another good one. 

 If you have a drive-in operating near your home today, I would love to hear about it.  Over a half a century later, I would imagine the technology has improved and that it is still a bargain compared to the multi-plex theaters.  I paid $14 per ticket for a 3-D movie just two weeks ago, but that is another story.

Photo by Peter Notarianni